i just had sex bonerless
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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