Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
