I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
