Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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