My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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