Can Purell be used as lube?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
