Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
