she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She even gives head with a lisp.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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