Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
