3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
