You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize