I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
