i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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