Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
