Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
