when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
