just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
