The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
