I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
