my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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