don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
