so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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