OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
