my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
