would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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