your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
