You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
