Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
