Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
