ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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