Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
