Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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