He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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