Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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