My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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