I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I will pee on everything he values.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
