"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
