I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
