I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
