Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
