ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
