Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
