imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize