Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
