Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
