Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
