Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think i got beer on your cat.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize