Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
