I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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