so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
God, I missed his penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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