all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
