Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
