i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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