Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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