it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
