I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
