Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
