Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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