I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
