my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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